A haiku for my son

It rips me apart

When I say goodbye to you

Each time, I love you.

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Confrontation

.

Confrontation never easy for me

Always so scared

To vent my wishes

To be heard

Falling on deaf ears

I scream to be heard

Those words cutting

Tearing through you

A thousand knives flicking flesh

Passing through aimlessly

But damage persists

Blood spewing from the violence

Of my words

Blindfold on

I wish not to see

Fallout from my radiation

As I scream aloud again

Remaining skin no more

I have spoken

I told you I don’t like confrontation

No

.

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So called love

Tired of being what you want me to be

I will never be good enough

My soul sucked by your every wish

Your selfish thoughts

Your every desire

To change me to something I am not

You never see me smile

Because of hurt inside

It is your fault

You did this to me

My anger so bitter I could

Well

No

I wouldn’t know how

To escape this poisonous gauntlet of love

Or so called

One day you will see

.

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No care to recall

Unable to believe

How it felt

As if forcing myself

Without an ounce of

Anything

Body gliding

Sultry

No care to recall

It can depart

For that one moment

I am left

Without care

There is really no need

I smile

Eyes gently shut

Oh bliss

.

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I miss me

A shell of myself

A husk crimped to shreds

I am what you want me to be?

Sold out to the world

Change for a soul

Just who decides

Control relinquished

For this object you call

Me

.

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The perfect photo

We can take a photo of this moment

The one second everything is perfect

Forget all our past forever devouring

The snide comments, poisoning cloud

Mist soaking us through, transpiration so

Weather for today may be overcast

But the filter can always be changed

Cracks to be hidden or smoothed over

Smile like you have never smiled before

Sell it to them, your soul to leave

Your only wish, the perfect photo

To be believed

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Unsavable

Nothing can describe this emptyness

Never reaching chasms

As if falling continously

Unscared, unworried

Nothingness, air passes by

No sound

Turning and turning

I want to feel

To drive a jagged rock through my body

To suffer real pain

Fear to impose

Adrenaline to envelop

Outer body outer mind

I can only look on

This pointless solitude

Cannot be helped

Cannot be heard

Patheticness

Pityful screaming inside

Let me fall

I am

Unsavable

Tears of strength

Tears be not a form of weakness

But a form of strength

For all the hurt received

You would go to any length

Never giving up

Through all the hurt and strain

Always resting defiant

No matter what the pain

So when that tear falls

Not one ounce of regret

Be proud of yourself

And never ever forget

Pure eyes

Her pure eyes

Always found

The good

Even in him

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The silent journey

.

Such beauty in silence

Floating feather

Descending

Scattered dreams

Dancing as if a butterfly

Beholding magnificence

Greys reflecting against rays

Until the gust

Sends it on its silent journey

Far far away

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